Just Maybe
by Nindira
Summary: I dreamed of this once, a place where Peeta's child could be safe, but not once did I dream the mother to be me.


This is post book around the epilogue. Hope you like it

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

I remember I dreamed of this once, it was one of the few happy dreams I rarely had back in the day. It was the one dream that kept me going in the games, back when my only concern was to keep Peeta's life, not caring of my own. It was about a place where children played, where Peeta's children played, chasing each other, he scooping them in his arms, protecting them and loving them, a place where they could be safe. Not once did a dream of the mother, just them, with a happiness that at the time you would never believe it was possible. And not once did I dream the mother to be me.

It still feels too surreal, just like a dream, as the little girl with the dark hair and the blue eyes comes running to me and it's not until she touches my hand that I'm pulled out of my thoughts and realize that is not a dream, they're not a dream.

"Come momma" she grabs my hand between both her little ones and guides me towards them.

Peeta still fights it sometimes, that shine in his eyes that threatens his reality, but not of this, not of them, they are the two things he never questions real or not? But I? I still find it hard sometimes to separate the dream from my reality, because that's my biggest fear I believe, to have it all taken away and all of it to be just a dream.

"Look, daddy made an angel" The snow is high above the ground, thick enough for Peeta's whole body to be half in it, moving his arms up and down "Prim come" he says with a smile to the girl as I sit on the snow a few steps apart and take the little boy in my lap kissing his blond curls as he mimics his father's movements in the air.

It amazing in some ways, the way he returned to me without him even knowing it, but I noticed it, because I never stopped looking for him, the boy with the bread, always trying to catch glimpses of him until one day I realized I didn't have to keep looking, he was whole in front of me or at least as whole as he'll ever be. I remember it was a freezing night too, two years after we moved back to District 12, I went to hunt with the snow falling, I didn't realize when the storm started and at that time I still didn't care much for whatever happened to me. I tried to refuge in the old house but didn't make it, curled up in tree I was trying my best to just stay still, come what may, when strong arms wrapped me and lift me, my head resting automatically in his chest just where his heartbeat lied, like second nature. He took me home and put me in my bed wrapping all the covers he could find, warming my body. I went cold sick but he stayed by my side, drawing, and that's when I noticed it, that look, that one look that only fixates his face in certain occasions, that look that's only Peeta's. He kissed me goodnight and just like that night in the train I reached for his hand and asked him to stay, I saw his baby blue eyes flicker with emotion searching into mine, before he whispered the same words back to me "Always".

Prim's laugh brought me to the present as she jumped on him in delight, It was hard at first, when Peeta suggested the name, too much heartache came to me whenever I repeated it, I didn't want to feel sad every time I looked at my child, but once she was born one look into her eyes and realize what a gift Peeta had gave me.

He started making the comments, small comments no harming anyone as we laid in bed, him tired for the work in the bakery "You know I'd love to have a boy to help me at the bakery" the first time I heard it I found it silly, almost reply him that he could contract the help of any boy at the merchants place, until I caught his face, his once boyish face now turned into a man's frame, the expression on his face between joking and something else…longing, that's when I started to have those dreams again, the one I'm now living in, that's when I remembered if anyone should be a parent it should be him, and I couldn't deny him that.

Lion, only starting to walk a week ago, gets his tiny legs to the snow and makes his way to them not wanting to miss the fun. Is time's like this that I realize my fear of having them; of loving them too much it's what actually gets me through the day.

A cold snowball made it to my cheek pulling me from my thoughts, Prim had a look of utterly shock in her face, Lion making a little one in his small hands and Peeta's face that confirmed it all… guilty "Now Katniss before you take any retaliation I have some good points for you" he only looked at Prim and back to me "Yeah I got nothing" and with that he started running, me after him with a snowball ready in hand, laughing, an action that felt so bizarre before and that now I can't suppress.

And as we both fall, me on top of him, him catching me still laughing I can't help but thing that Plutarch was right, maybe we are fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and gift of self-destruction, maybe this period will be short lived, and maybe, just maybe… this is it.


End file.
